


I Really Loved You

by fangirlingovermishacollins



Series: Season 13 Codas [8]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Coda, Episode: s13e12 Various and Sundry Villains, First Kiss, Jealous Castiel, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Making Out, Season 13 Castiel/Dean Winchester Reunion, Season/Series 13
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-02-02
Packaged: 2019-03-12 13:36:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13548426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangirlingovermishacollins/pseuds/fangirlingovermishacollins
Summary: Confessions are made when Dean and Cas meet in the bunker after the witches are killed.





	I Really Loved You

The book sat next to Dean's beer on the table, almost taunting him with its clearly torn out page. If he looked hard enough, Dean could have seen where it had been torn from- the book spine noticeably differently shaped now, just a bit but enough to see what had happened.

He wondered: if Rowena used the page for evil, she would possibly become not only the most powerful witch the brothers had ever seen, but the deadliest. No amount of tears over losing her one and only son made a difference.

"Freaking Sam," Dean muttered. He tried to use the beer, still mostly full, as a distraction. But the thought was still fresh in his mind. His younger brother may have been hunting for over ten years now, but his still-soft heart hadn't changed. Sammy still took pity on people, even Rowena under the right circumstances.

The hunter paused, beer just touching his lips, as his phone went off with its familiar rock ringtone. He hummed along slightly for a few seconds before checking who was calling.

The number wasn't one he recognized. It looked like it was from an entirely different state even. Dean briefly wondered if it was another telemarketer, trying to sell him home or car insurance. That or some kids playing a prank.

His hesitation was what caused him to miss the call. The rock music, playing on its five or ten second loop, abruptly stopped, and a notification was now present proclaiming he had a missed call.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

"Told you he wouldn't answer, Cassie. Now gimme the phone." One of Lucifer's hands was covering his stab wound while the other was outstretched, waiting for the probably-missing smartphone sitting in Cas's hand.

"He will. I know Dean Winchester much better than you do." The phone was just barely out of the archangel's reach, and Lucifer groaned in frustration. "Are you seriously intending to beg for it? I see no reason, after all, you have nobody to attempt to contact."

Lucifer sighed. "I found it, duh. I should be the one to return it to whoever it belongs to," he insisted, doing his best puppy-dog eyes and pouty face. 

"I highly doubt you're willing to make a change to being good. If you persist in this, it will make you look even more pathetic." The angel's blue eyes looked even darker as he glared at Lucifer.

"Um, you just stabbed me, and I let you make a call on the phone that I found. You repay me like this?" Lucifer's free hand, clean of any blood, waved around doing hand motions that matched his speech.

"Yes, as a matter of fact. You have played me far too many times. I won't allow another." Cas dialed Dean's phone number again, slightly smirking at the archangel's expression. He turned his head away, allowing himself to fully grin at the devil's frustration. It had really been fun to torment and tease him in the cells.

"Who the hell is this?" replaced the usual recorded message about an automated voice messaging system. Cas let out a little gasp, the phone closer to his ear at the sound of Dean's voice.

"Dean." That one word seemed to shock the hunter into silence. Even over the phone, Cas could feel Dean's surprise.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

"Who the hell is this?" Dean muttered into the phone, annoyed at the unknown number calling him yet again. On the other end, he could hear a slight, barely audible intake of breath.

"Dean." Now Dean was the one shocked into silence, hearing Cas call him from some phone he probably asked to borrow from a friendly stranger.

"What the hell, Cas?" was all Dean could manage. "You lose your phone?"

"I suppose so, yes. I didn't quite try to take it back after escaping Asmodeus's prison." After all that had happened- Rowena's return to life, the witch's love spell, and the missing page from the spellbook- hearing the name Asmodeus was like a final blow.

"You okay? Because you've called us every damn day since your 'angel business,' or whatever the hell you call it, and talked to me and Sammy." 

"I..." Cas began, pausing. "Dean, I was captured. Asmodeus not only stole my phone, and managed to successfully capture myself and Lucifer, but he stole my voice as well. He's been talking to you, rather than me." Cas sighed into the phone, Dean could hear it. 

"Lucifer? Asmodeus? You were captured? Cas, what the hell happened after you left? You wanna tell me?" 

"I would, yes. However, I will have to find my way over to you. There are.... somewhat unreliable people nearby." Dean could hear a small 'Hey!' in the background after Cas said that.

"The hell?" Dean asked yet again. "You with Lucifer? That son of a bitch who killed you?" Dean shook his head. "Just get your ass over here and I'll talk." Dean hung up the phone, ignoring Cas's somewhat hurt, faint "Excuse me?"

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Cas was quick, Dean had to admit that. Although he spoke like he had some sort of detriment keeping him away from Dean, he was by his bed's side in a matter of minutes. 

"About time," Dean said, reaching out to hug him. "Hey, uh," Dean began, thinking, "sorry. You know, for getting so pissed over the phone. Just been through a hell of a ride recently. You probably have too, huh?" Dean guided Cas to sit on his bed next to him. 

"Yes, I will say that. Lucifer found me after I attended my 'angel business.' My brothers and sisters planned to use Jack for creating new angels, due to the fact that my kind is running low. I refused, of course. Not only had Jack already run off, but I care for him. They brought out their angel blades."

Dean looked shocked. "Those feathered dicks are going extinct?" Cas gave him a warning look, and Dean gestured that he'd back off and let the angel speak.

"Yes, Dean, to answer your question. After I was approached, Lucifer appeared and scared them off. He had escaped the alternate dimension due to a portal in that world. Apparently, that Michael-"

"That son of a bitch that tried to wear me to prom?" Cas smiled slightly but still nodded and continued.

"Once again, yes. He intends to take over Earth once he gets through to our world. Lucifer had just explained it to me when Asmodeus, accompanied by demons, appeared and took us captive. He stole my cell phone first."

"Crap. Sammy and I have told that asshole way too much. Cas, if anything happens, it's our own damn fault, okay?" Dean shook his head. "I should've tracked your phone down."

"Dean. You're fine. From the sounds of things, the Prince of Hell was left with more questions than answers. He was angry with me." The angel sighed. "We were held captive for weeks. We only got out when Lucifer and I teamed up together to knock out the demon guarding us."

"Hell of a wild ride," Dean admitted. "Did you kick his ass or what?"

"I stabbed him, yes. He lived through it, however." 

Dean chuckled. "Damn," he said, "you're badass."

"Thank you, I suppose. How have you been?" Cas's head was tilted in just the right way that made him look so innocent despite having stabbed the Devil and killed angels and demons.

"Crappy. A witch cast a love spell on me, which sucked." Cas stiffened a bit at that fact, and something darkened his normally bluer than blue eyes. 

"A love spell? You were in love with her?" Cas managed to get out through his uncomfortableness.

"It wasn't real, Cas. She screwed with my head. Hell, it only lasted like an hour, you know? Nothing." Dean brushed it off, trying to calm down the suddenly tense angel.

"You didn't take her home then? No kissing?" Dean shook his head at the first one but looked away sheepishly at the second. "So you did kiss her. Okay."

"I was under the spell. Damn it, Cas, you don't realize- I was all messed up. I was looking down at her kinda unconscious body, and this other witch, her sister, said some Latin crap and said to revive her, I should kiss her. It was only one time, and wasn't even a kiss, okay?"

"I suppose I understand. How was the spell broken, however?" Cas looked confused now, still a little uncomfortable but looking much better.

"Rowena. She survived death again, you know? She crushed the hex bag the chick slipped into my pocket. Only damn time I was glad to see her." 

"I would imagine that to be the case. Dean, I apologize for my behavior, but imagining you with a witch due to a love spell doesn't sit well with me." Cas sighed. "I'm sorry."

"You did nothing, you know? You're good." The hunter paused. "Can I tell you something?"

"Anything." Cas's response was so quick that Dean was confident he wouldn't see him as an idiot.

"The spell made me see weird crap. I looked into the chick's eyes, and she had these blue eyes that looked just like yours. I almost called her Cas once or twice."

"What does that mean? I understand you saw someone you love because of magic, but having my eyes? Is there something that could be causing it?"

"I kinda think it's like that monster Sammy and I hunted a few years back. It rips your freaking heart out, taking the form of someone you love. Your deepest desire or whatever." Dean shrugged. "I dunno. I'm not the person to ask." Dean ended his train of thought while avoiding those blue, blue eyes.

"I suppose that makes sense. But I fail to understand why you managed to see me. I, the same as you, have been through quite a bit in a short time, as you have pointed out." Cas shrugged. "I believe I need a moment to process this, Dean. I apologize."

And when Dean watched Cas leave his room, looking a little defeated, he had to wonder why. His first thought was that the angel had been let down by Lucifer, but another thought was that the news about the hunter's temporary love had just upset him.

When Dean finally fell asleep, too exhausted to even think, it was anything but peaceful.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Sam looked a little surprised to see Cas just standing around, considering he didn't even know the angel had arrived. Still, he gave him a quick hug and was smiling as he asked, "How have you been?"

"Alright. I've been quite preoccupied lately, however. I spoke with Dean. He explained what happened just recently." Cas sighed. He looked down at the floor, or maybe at his shoes, to avoid Sam's eyes.

Sam rushed to respond. "Look, Cas,if you'd heard Rowena talk about family and being afraid-" He paused when he saw Cas looking at him, comfused.

"I'm sorry Sam, but I have no idea what you're talking about. Dean explained the love spell to me, and how he was put under it." Finally, Cas just asked, "What were you going on about?"

"Oh, well," Sam began almost sheepishly, "I gave Rowena a page from a spellbook. She doesn't want to be powerless against Lucifer, Cas, and when she talked to me about it," Sam sighed, shrugging. "Well, I felt bad."

"Dean was upset, however?" Cas looked up at Sam, head tilted in confusion. 

"Yeah. He was pissed. It was a powerful spellbook." Sam thought for a minute. "But I felt like I owed her, you know? I mean, Rowena saved us from those witches. They would have killed us if she hadn't done something."

Cas couldn't help himself. "Dean was willing to watch the love of his life get killed then?" His voice was heavy with annoyance, or jealousy.

"Cas," Sam started to say, "is this about Dean? And, you know, the spell?" Cas's silence was all he needed to know he'd hit the nail on the head.

"It doesn't matter how I feel about it. It hasn't mattered all these years, either. I see no reason why Dean would suddenly start caring now."

Sam reached out and gripped the angel's shoulder. "Cas," he said with a slight chuckle, "are you kidding? He's been dying to call you ever since you last went off to go see the angels. He hasn't told you everything."

"I suppose. I simply can't stand the thought of Dean with anyone, especially not a witch who cast a spell on him." Cas sounded a little downcast now, gaze trained on the floor again.

"Tell him." Those two words instantly caused the angel to turn towards Sam, who smiled encouragingly. "Don't wait any longer, you know?"

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

The first thing Dean saw after waking up was Cas, sitting on the edge of his bed. The angel's blue eyes were trained on nothing in particular, as if he were lost in thought. "Watching over me again?" Dean muttered, just loud enough for Cas to hear. 

"I just felt like checking up on you. After I left here, I didn't see you leave to even get something to eat or drink." Cas shrugged. "I had no intentions of staying as long as I did."

"But you did anyway," Dean finished for him, nodding dismissively. "At least you weren't creepy this time."

"Yes, I suppose that's a plus. On the bright side, Dean, I ensured you slept well. You weren't sleeping as well as you should have been." Cas averted his gaze, looking over at some unidentifiable thing in the corner of the room.

"Cas-" Dean started, but the angel was already starting to speak again. 

"I'm sorry. I know I already said it, yes, but I feel I still owed you an apology after leaving the way I did. I felt," Cas admitted, pausing to think, "I felt as if I was being threatened when you mentioned the witch and the spell."

"Because you happen to be in love with me?" Dean joked, but judging by Cas's shy, almost embarrassed expression, he was right.

"Well," the angel finally said after a few too many moments of silence, "that's one way to confess." He offered a light laugh, a failed attempt to brighten the whole situation.

"How long?" Dean's voice was soft now.

"Years." Cas sighed. "I've thought about it many times by now, Dean, and come to the conclusion that there's no way I could have developed feelings for anybody else."

"You never told me?" It was both a statement and a question. "Why?"

"I was afraid, Dean, but I can't be anymore. I see now that something as basic as a love spell can take you away, and I hate the idea of it. I'm not sure how I tolerated just being friends for such a long time."

"Well, wanna hear something then? Cas, damn it, I love you too, you son of a bitch. It took a while to really accept, you know? I mean, I've had a thing or two with a guy in the past, but-" Dean was cut off by Cas suddenly sitting closer to him, dark blue eyes searching his own green ones like he were looking for confirmation.

"I love you," the angel said in a low, hushed voice, like the moment as a whole was a delicate thing that he didn't want to speak too loud with.

The moment was still abruptly changed once Dean sat right next to him, fully awake now. Their hands were centimeters away.

"And you know I love you too," Dean said, grinning while leaning in closer and closer.

Their first kiss was somehow a combination of slow and sweet, impulsive and thought out. It was chaste at first, obviously, but grew into something much more intense. 

Dean's right hand was clutching the angel's hip, his left hand gently holding his cheek and neck. Meanwhile, Cas was letting him take control, just loosely draping his arms around Dean's body and holding him close. The hunter gently started kissing every part of Cas's lips, a series of loving pecks moving from left to right.

"Did you kiss the witch like this?" Cas asked suddenly, but it didn't ruin the moment. Instead, Dean just pulled him closer, almost in his lap by now. He whispered into his ear, "Nope. Just you," before trailing kisses from his earlobe right back to his lips.

"I'm glad to hear it," Cas said, and Dean just grinned, flirtatious smile fully affecting Cas and making him feel dazed in the best possible way.

"I bet you are, angel." Cas was gorgeous like this. His lips were shiny and red now as opposed to pink and chapped-looking. Cas's pupils were blown, blue barely visible. His cheeks were a tempting shade of pink and Dean felt the urge to kiss them over and over.

But he managed to find enough self-control to restrain himself, asking the angel, "I need to get some pie or something. Wanna come along?"

Cas happily followed Dean to the kitchen, smiling the whole way.


End file.
